(When biological energy is mistakenly used as a force of ‘will-power’)
Swami Guptanand Saraswati:
Old age – a social conditioning
‘When we are full of biological energy we exercise control over the requirements of the body. Once those bubbling of biological energy move depleting, requirements of the body begin dominating the scene.’
My consciousness sprouted in the religious environment. We were at Balawali, a roadside station at the bank of Ganga. My father was a regular member of ‘Kalyan’ published by ‘Gita Press’, Gorakhpur. Hanuman Prasad Poddar along with Swami Ramsukh Das and Jaidayal Goenka had made almost all the books available on Hindu culture and philosophy to all at subsidized rates. As a toddler, I was reading the books and practicing their teachings.
My family environment was very religious. I always found my father sitting for ‘puja’ (religious rituals) continuously for four to six hours. Most of the visitors were the ‘sadhus’ whom to attend and serve food were my prime duty as the eldest child of the family. On various occasions, there used to be religious discourses in the family and I was attempting to understand life through these discourses. By the time I could attain the age 12, I read all the books representing Hindu culture, like Ramcharit Manas, Mahabharat, Desh Bhakt Shyam (a novel on the life of Lord Krishna written by Mulk Raj Anand), etc.
Swamy Guptanand Saraswati was our family ‘guru’ who renounced his family at the age of 35 and became ‘sanyasi’. His father-in-law was prime minister of Gwalior dynasty during British Rule. He was a regular visitor who impressed my growing mind. Reading and dreaming was my pet pass time.
1959 was of crucial importance for me. My grandmother died to whom I was very much attached but couldn’t grieve her demise. In fact, throughout up to the age 54 I had been searching love and security which she shared with me in each woman who attracted towards me. On the intellectual front, I came into contact with ‘maddo’ Bhai saheb who influenced my thinking process. He added logic to my thinking but in a very spiritual manner. Same year Swami Guptanand visited Moradabad. He gave a book to me which changed my entire perspective towards life. As a result, I started moving from ‘bhakti’ to something very concrete and logical, i.e. believing in my own ‘worth’.
Now analysis was becoming a tool of my understanding. I started exploring within. I was not ready for accepting anything about which I was not convinced. To getting convinced I started developing my own yardsticks. Through the power of authority, no one could convince me. He had to demonstrate the ‘utility’ for what he was asking me to follow. The age when an adolescent was supposed to be obedient, in an orthodox family, to the orders of elders I wanted to be convinced before complying. A tough situation I was passing through.
In 1969 I learned that Swami Gupta and was beaten by locals when found him molesting a girl of 14 years old. At that time his age was approximately 98 years. Subsequently, after this incidence, he disappeared from Balawali. When I informed my mother about Swamiji she told when we were at Balawali I used to get stray information like this from small girls. But she ignored with the understanding that old and lonely people do practice all such activities.
I could conclude, ‘when we are full of biological energy we exercise control over the requirements of the body. Once those bubbling of biological energy move depleting, requirements of the body begin dominating the scene.’ As a result, we are left with old age, a social conditioning, representing frustration, sickness and unending wait for smooth passing away.
Dr. Kandpal mentioned when teaching Kundalini awakening, “People with low IQ cannot appreciate Yoga. It requires a superior level of intelligence. Otherwise, they will be trapped like Lala Har Charan Das. Likewise, Kundalini awakening is not possible for children and old people. Only youth, in whom biological energy is bubbling, can awake such power.”
That is an appropriate use of ‘willpower’ is possible only by those who are emotionally matured and mentally healthy. Persons, trapped in a vicious circle of some crisis, if they use ‘willpower’ to get out, their every step toward freedom will only be inviting problems for them. Probably, this is the reason that most of the people working for Kundalini Awakening suffer from depression. Fortunately, I was benefited through developing a specific ability to understand the mind of the author while reading. In fact, I don’t read a book but try to understand the mind of the author while he was writing.